From rcmurphy at gmail.com Fri Sep 1 05:44:36 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Fri Sep 1 05:44:39 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- HowTo:Maintain a vanity site on Wikipedia -- Message-ID: The tyrants that maintain Wikipedia as a non-democratic and anti-free-speech website have deleted your last hopes of being remembered after you die. Should you hurry up and commit suicide already? Nay! For where there is hope, there is a way. Follow these guidelines, and it is 23% GUARANTEED that someone will care that you slit your wrists next week, or at least until they find the body. Step 1:Prepare your article. Make sure to include what is so great about you, possibly a photograph, and maybe your website or blog if you have one. Quotes are also good. Try it, you never know. Hey, it worked for Bob Saget. Step 2: If you got deleted on grounds of "patent nonsense" Wikipedia obviously doesn't recognise you as enough of a threat to call "vanity". THIS MEANS WAR! A secret weapon was constructed years ago in Bill Gates' basement. It is often believed to be the reason for Microsoft's inexplicable success. The following instructions will allow you to utilize this fearsome technology. 1. Copy and paste the text into Microsoft Word. 2. Press F7. 3. Click "change" repeatedly until the box goes away. 4. Return with a vengence. 5. There is no step five. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/HowTo:Maintain_a_vanity_site_on_Wikipedia From rcmurphy at gmail.com Sun Sep 3 05:00:32 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Sun Sep 3 05:00:34 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- Pixellated Face Disease -- Message-ID: Pixellated face disease (or PFD) is a strange and disturbing phenomenon whereby an individual's face becomes blurred and blocky for seemingly no apparent reason. Any individual, no matter how law-abiding or innocent can contract the disease whilst going about their everyday life. However, the single most disturbing aspect of the condition is that, much like ghosts, the effects can only be seen when the infected individual is viewed on film or photographic format. Thus, one will never know if one has the condition until they appear on World's Wildest Police Chases or CCTV Uncovered. The symptoms Many symptoms have been witnessed in conjunction with PFD. Following is a selection of the most common: Monsterism, also often referred to as Zombification. A process whereby an individual takes on the characteristics of a monster, most notably a deep, low droning voice. The person in question also begins to move much more deliberately, almost as if they were in slow motion. Pixellated genital disease. Often the individual with PFD will display this condition as well. Just as grave as PFD, it can be witnessed when the individual takes their pants off on film. Since the early 1990's, this condition has been seen increasingly in streakers. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Pixellated_Face_Disease From rcmurphy at gmail.com Tue Sep 5 06:32:25 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Tue Sep 5 06:32:29 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- Lost in Translation -- Message-ID: Lost in Translation (established the same year as Uncyclopedia) is a film starring singer Amerie and actor Michael Caine, shot in Sofia, Bulgaria, directed by Francis Ford Coppola and sort of spoken in the English language from 2003 (Released 2004 in France, also in the English language). The fact that Bob Harris (actor Bill Murray)'s ass was shown (according to Uncyclopedia and also de.Uncyclopedia) in the median part of the film, with quacks added to it, saw an encounter in Tokio between a paranormal Israeli Zionist Photographer and the publishers of the film. After they had asado steak in Peru or The Soviet Union and a Marmite and had a laugh over an double entendre joke in the English language from Uncyclopedia while stuffing their faces with a Buri fish a-la menth, it kinda worked itself out. There were apparently also some aguments against the makers of Memento and a promise to win an Oscar. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Lost_in_Translation From rcmurphy at gmail.com Thu Sep 7 05:23:37 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Thu Sep 7 05:23:40 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- "Paul is dead" hoax -- Message-ID: The term "Paul is dead" (PID) refers to an urban legend or a hoax perpetrated either on the musical group The Beatles by their fans or vice-versa. According to the legend, bass guitarist and singer Paul McCartney was replaced by a lookalike after his alleged death in an auto accident in the mid-60s. Proponents of this hoax cite obscure clues embedded within the Beatles' lyrics, symbolism in their album covers, and Wings as evidence that the "real" Paul didn't survive into the 70s. The origin of the legend may stem from a December 1965 moped accident that left McCartney with a scarred lip. Thanks to the Beatles' immense popularity, this relatively minor incident ballooned greatly within months - informal polls showed that in spring 1966 many fans were convinced that Paul had been t-boned by a lorry, and by the beginning of the recording process for 1967's Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band some diehard Paul enthusiasts had accused Ringo Starr of hijacking an RAF fighter and crashing it into Paul's bike in the hopes of taking his co-lead singer status in the band. The December 1965 release of the album Rubber Soul helped fuel the initial rumors of Paul's death. Several lines of the song "Drive My Car" reputedly refer to his accident: Baby you can drive my car - refers to the relinquishment of Paul's ownership of his moped due to his death Beep beep, beep beep yeah - mimics the sound of Paul's horn as he crashes However, as Rubber Soul was released several weeks before the accident, these "clues" are not considered airtight by most PID theorists. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/%22Paul_is_dead%22_hoax From rcmurphy at gmail.com Sat Sep 9 05:33:33 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Sat Sep 9 05:33:46 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- Humosexual -- Message-ID: Humosexuals (also known as a "humos", "odd-fellows", "saddos", "chuckle buddies", "fat boys" and "enola gays") are people who compulsively tell jokes in order to get laid. Shunned by society and kicked around the streets by lawyers, humosexuals are still struggling to be accepted, stroked, thumped or even looked at. Anyone will do. I'm not fussy. Humosexuals are often fiercely ugly and tend to display poor personal hygiene. They usually compensate for this by wearing large ties covered in cartoon characters and smirking loudly whenever anyone says the word "dollop". By comparison to almost everything else, no. But what's normal anyway? According to the Swedish Institute For Normal Things, the most normal things in the world are small grey cubes in bargain baskets in local shops. None of these are humosexual. The pioneering work by neuroscientist Sir Frankenstein Fnarr Fnarr Chucklebuddy "I've A Whopper!" Smirkalot demonstrates that humosexuals are highly abnormal in the regions of the brain, inner ear (which is simultaneously the outer ear), foot and teeth. Humosexuals are more prone to have protruding teeth (protruding from their stomachs), a bad underarm problem and hair growing out of their inner ears in huge swirls, like some mad hairy danish pastry on acid. This, however, is not due to some inherent genetic difference, it is just because life is unfair. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Humosexual From beesley at gmail.com Sun Sep 10 09:53:03 2006 From: beesley at gmail.com (Angela) Date: Sun Sep 10 09:53:05 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] Spam captchas Message-ID: <8b722b800609100253s69862604i7fed0af2b10d4aa9@mail.gmail.com> You may have noticed that we're trying a new anti-spam tactic. If you add a new external link (not a wiki link) to a page, you will be asked to solve a simple equation (the "captcha") before saving the page. This is to prevent automated spam bots which have been causing massive problems on some wikis. If you are an admin (or flagged as an approved bot), you should *not* see the captcha. If you do, please log out and back in again. Please add comments on whether you think we should keep this feature at http://www.wikia.com/wiki/Forum:Spam_hurdle_too_much If you're using a bot and need it approved, please let any of the community staff know. For more info on captchas, see Wikipedia's definition at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captcha Angela. -- Angela Beesley http://wikia.com | http://a.nge.la From zombie_baron at hotmail.com Sun Sep 10 21:59:04 2006 From: zombie_baron at hotmail.com (Zombie Baron) Date: Sun Sep 10 22:11:10 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] Spam captchas In-Reply-To: <8b722b800609100253s69862604i7fed0af2b10d4aa9@mail.gmail.com> Message-ID: I'm gonna go add this fact to the links you sent, but some of us have trouble with simple adition! I was trying to add a link about 5 minutes ago, and I had to fire up my mac's calculator program just to make sure that I was getting it right. But yah, maybe that's just me. Zombiebaron of Uncyclopedia >From: Angela >Reply-To: uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com >To: "Central Wikia Mailing List" , >uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com >Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] Spam captchas >Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2006 19:53:03 +1000 > >You may have noticed that we're trying a new anti-spam tactic. If you >add a new external link (not a wiki link) to a page, you will be asked >to solve a simple equation (the "captcha") before saving the page. >This is to prevent automated spam bots which have been causing massive >problems on some wikis. > >If you are an admin (or flagged as an approved bot), you should *not* >see the captcha. If you do, please log out and back in again. > >Please add comments on whether you think we should keep this feature >at http://www.wikia.com/wiki/Forum:Spam_hurdle_too_much > >If you're using a bot and need it approved, please let any of the >community staff know. > >For more info on captchas, see Wikipedia's definition at >http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captcha > >Angela. > >-- >Angela Beesley >http://wikia.com | http://a.nge.la >_______________________________________________ >Uncyclopedia-l mailing list >Uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com >http://lists.wikia.com/mailman/listinfo/uncyclopedia-l From jasonr at wikia.com Mon Sep 11 04:20:35 2006 From: jasonr at wikia.com (Jason Richey) Date: Mon Sep 11 04:20:44 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] Recent Downtime Message-ID: <4504E413.5080705@wikia.com> As I'm sure many of you were already aware, Wikia and Uncyclopedia (and all sites hosted by Wikia) were mostly down for about 3 hours beginning about 11:55pm UTC on Sunday, Sept 10. Emil (from our team in Poland) and I worked on the problem and eventually tracked the problem to our primary database server in Tampa. We have resolved the problem, but are keeping a watchful eye out in case new issues arise. I apologize for any inconvenience that the trouble may have caused, and thank you to all of the people who took the time to report errors. For those of you who want more details about the issue... Our primary Database server, which usually handles about 100 database processes at a time during this time of day, was reaching it's maximum limit of 800 processes. These processes were all hanging on a single basic operation. Each process was handling the mysql login of one of our webservers. These processes were hanging due to slow name resolution, and flooding the server with waiting processes. We've switched to file based name resolution for those servers, and the situation is much improved. Again, thank you all for your patience and for your help. Jason Richey -- Jason Richey http://www.wikia.com/wiki/User:Jasonr From rcmurphy at gmail.com Mon Sep 11 06:13:17 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Mon Sep 11 06:13:21 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- War of 1812 -- Message-ID: The War of 1812, also known as "The War Nobody Wanted to Name", was a ridiculously embarrassing conflict fought between the United States, Great Britain, Canada, and Antarctica. Everybody lost. Coping with adolescence and struggling to maintain its identity during the Napoleonic Wars, the United States looked to its mother country for guidance. But England, a single parent with a host of colonies to look after, had little time to spend with its gawky young child. Hoping to impose some sort of discipline over its increasingly sullen ward, England resorted to a 10 p.m. curfew. In a letter to President Thomas Jefferson, King George III wrote --- This is my goddamn ocean, and you'll live by my goddamn rules. What's that? -- Oh, you can't trade with Holland anymore? I'm sorry. I'm just asking you to behave yourself while I work 16 goddamn hours a day saving the goddamned world from the goddamned French. Didn't mean to "dis" you, "home-skillet." --- A furious America, aching for attention, began to lash out at other countries on the continent. The new country was also angry over the British practice of impressments. British officers would board American ships in dazzling Versace coats and Ralph Lauren pants. Trowling the decks, the officers would talk loudly about their great 401K plans, their six weeks of vacation and the "serious hotties" at the Admiralty office. Impressed, American sailors began joining the British Navy in record numbers. In response, the U.S. Navy began a "casual Friday" program, but this proved ineffective at stopping the turnover. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/War_of_1812 From jasonr at wikia.com Tue Sep 12 02:25:29 2006 From: jasonr at wikia.com (Jason Richey) Date: Tue Sep 12 02:25:47 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] ANother (much shorter) outage Message-ID: <45061A99.7040001@wikia.com> We just had another outage of a few minutes. It was a matter of some bad code getting inadvertently copied into the wrong place. All is well now. Sorry for the trouble. -- Jason Richey http://www.wikia.com/wiki/User:Jasonr From nintendorulez1337 at gmail.com Tue Sep 12 23:45:38 2006 From: nintendorulez1337 at gmail.com (nintendorulez) Date: Tue Sep 12 23:45:41 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] Spam captchas In-Reply-To: References: <8b722b800609100253s69862604i7fed0af2b10d4aa9@mail.gmail.com> Message-ID: <11ff3da00609121645i76f353b6w3ab9facee645550f@mail.gmail.com> So far I've only encountered simple two-digit stuff. What equation possibly gave you trouble? On 9/10/06, Zombie Baron wrote: > > I'm gonna go add this fact to the links you sent, but some of us have > trouble with simple adition! I was trying to add a link about 5 minutes > ago, > and I had to fire up my mac's calculator program just to make sure that I > was getting it right. But yah, maybe that's just me. > > Zombiebaron of Uncyclopedia > > > >From: Angela > >Reply-To: uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com > >To: "Central Wikia Mailing List" , > >uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com > >Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] Spam captchas > >Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2006 19:53:03 +1000 > > > >You may have noticed that we're trying a new anti-spam tactic. If you > >add a new external link (not a wiki link) to a page, you will be asked > >to solve a simple equation (the "captcha") before saving the page. > >This is to prevent automated spam bots which have been causing massive > >problems on some wikis. > > > >If you are an admin (or flagged as an approved bot), you should *not* > >see the captcha. If you do, please log out and back in again. > > > >Please add comments on whether you think we should keep this feature > >at http://www.wikia.com/wiki/Forum:Spam_hurdle_too_much > > > >If you're using a bot and need it approved, please let any of the > >community staff know. > > > >For more info on captchas, see Wikipedia's definition at > >http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captcha > > > >Angela. > > > >-- > >Angela Beesley > >http://wikia.com | http://a.nge.la > >_______________________________________________ > >Uncyclopedia-l mailing list > >Uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com > >http://lists.wikia.com/mailman/listinfo/uncyclopedia-l > > > _______________________________________________ > Uncyclopedia-l mailing list > Uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com > http://lists.wikia.com/mailman/listinfo/uncyclopedia-l > -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://lists.wikia.com/pipermail/uncyclopedia-l/attachments/20060912/09bdbe3d/attachment.html From dgerard at gmail.com Wed Sep 13 00:23:49 2006 From: dgerard at gmail.com (David Gerard) Date: Wed Sep 13 00:25:36 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] Spam captchas In-Reply-To: <11ff3da00609121645i76f353b6w3ab9facee645550f@mail.gmail.com> References: <8b722b800609100253s69862604i7fed0af2b10d4aa9@mail.gmail.com> <11ff3da00609121645i76f353b6w3ab9facee645550f@mail.gmail.com> Message-ID: On 13/09/06, nintendorulez wrote: > So far I've only encountered simple two-digit stuff. What equation possibly > gave you trouble? You've never met liberal arts students, have you. I remember studying first year psych and the statistics section. This level of simple arithmetic exploded far too many of their heads. - d. From rcmurphy at gmail.com Wed Sep 13 04:33:08 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Wed Sep 13 04:33:11 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- UnNews:Diogenes searches world for honest mechanic -- Message-ID: You see David Strayhearn from a distance, standing with a clipboard beside the propped-up hood of a 1985 Nissan Sentra. It's a gray morning, and very little light penetrates the 39-year-old mechanic's garage, but Strayhearn can see fine: His customer has a lantern hanging overhead. "Yeah, well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but it's your transmission," Strayhearn tells the tall bearded man, staring steadily, almost menacingly at him. The lantern does not shake. "It's sucking in metal from the rest of the engine, and that's what's causing your problem," Strayhearn continues, not looking at his customer. "It's, uh, probably going to cost you ?1000." The customer does not move at first. Then the lantern falls, the hood is closed, and the car goes out again. "My car does not 'need' a new transmission anymore than a lady 'needs' a necklace of pearls or a diamond ring," says Diogenes of Sinope as his car lurches down the highway. "At best, it needs a transmission flush." The self-described philosopher, a Greek of Turkish descent, has been taking his 22-year-old vehicle to automotive shops throughout the world, trying to find an honest mechanic who will diagnose the real problem with his car. "Mechanics content themselves with poking and prodding," Diogenes says as his vehicle stalls out, "but no one shows any emulation in the pursuit of virtue." Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnNews:Diogenes_searches_world_for_honest_mechanic From jasonr at wikia.com Wed Sep 13 05:07:52 2006 From: jasonr at wikia.com (Jason Richey) Date: Wed Sep 13 05:08:12 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] reports of slowness Message-ID: <45079228.2030001@wikia.com> We've received reports of some slowness on the sites, and I am looking into it, along with Emil from our Poland team. I expect we'll have the site back up to speed in a few minutes. -- Jason Richey http://www.wikia.com/wiki/User:Jasonr From jasonr at wikia.com Wed Sep 13 06:04:22 2006 From: jasonr at wikia.com (Jason Richey) Date: Wed Sep 13 06:04:37 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] Re: [Wikia-l] reports of slowness In-Reply-To: <45079228.2030001@wikia.com> References: <45079228.2030001@wikia.com> Message-ID: <45079F66.3070306@wikia.com> Just FYI... Everything is running at normal speeds again (and has been for quite some time now). Jason Jason Richey wrote: > We've received reports of some slowness on the sites, and I am looking > into it, along with Emil from our Poland team. > > I expect we'll have the site back up to speed in a few minutes. > -- Jason Richey http://www.wikia.com/wiki/User:Jasonr From dgerard at gmail.com Wed Sep 13 11:00:52 2006 From: dgerard at gmail.com (David Gerard) Date: Wed Sep 13 11:00:56 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] [[Tucson]] in the press Message-ID: http://www.azstarnet.com/allheadlines/142615 - d. From nintendorulez1337 at gmail.com Wed Sep 13 18:48:59 2006 From: nintendorulez1337 at gmail.com (nintendorulez) Date: Wed Sep 13 18:49:03 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] [[Tucson]] in the press In-Reply-To: References: Message-ID: <11ff3da00609131148h58bd2747q67c8b27a3f259243@mail.gmail.com> "The only limits to Uncyclopedia entries are no porn, no hate and no copyrighted material, said Gil Penchina, chief executive officer of California-based Wikia.com, which spawned Uncyclopedia." Err... [[Category:Not safe for work]]? And what article doesn't display a large amount of hate toward the person/place/thing etc in the subject? And we've got plenty of copyright-but-fair-use... On 9/13/06, David Gerard wrote: > > http://www.azstarnet.com/allheadlines/142615 > > > - d. > _______________________________________________ > Uncyclopedia-l mailing list > Uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com > http://lists.wikia.com/mailman/listinfo/uncyclopedia-l > -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://lists.wikia.com/pipermail/uncyclopedia-l/attachments/20060913/9e42cb86/attachment.html From rcmurphy at gmail.com Wed Sep 13 18:50:42 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Wed Sep 13 18:50:46 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] [[Tucson]] in the press In-Reply-To: <11ff3da00609131148h58bd2747q67c8b27a3f259243@mail.gmail.com> References: <11ff3da00609131148h58bd2747q67c8b27a3f259243@mail.gmail.com> Message-ID: This is an old topic. See http://uncyclopedia.org/index.php?title=Forum:Meanies&t=20060913151836. Rc On 9/13/06, nintendorulez wrote: > "The only limits to Uncyclopedia entries are no porn, no hate and no > copyrighted material, said Gil Penchina, chief executive officer of > California-based Wikia.com, which spawned Uncyclopedia." > > > Err... [[Category:Not safe for work]]? And what article doesn't display a > large amount of hate toward the person/place/thing etc in the subject? And > we've got plenty of copyright-but-fair-use... > > > > On 9/13/06, David Gerard wrote: > > http://www.azstarnet.com/allheadlines/142615 > > > > > > - d. > > _______________________________________________ > > Uncyclopedia-l mailing list > > Uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com > > http://lists.wikia.com/mailman/listinfo/uncyclopedia-l > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Uncyclopedia-l mailing list > Uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com > http://lists.wikia.com/mailman/listinfo/uncyclopedia-l > > > From rcmurphy at gmail.com Fri Sep 15 05:41:00 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Fri Sep 15 05:41:03 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- HowTo:Write A Cover Letter -- Message-ID: You feel just like this guy on the right. You're down. You're out. The factory is closing, the office is downsizing, your cocaine empire is collapsing -- whatever the reason, you've lost everything, and you're ready to give up on life. Hold off. Nothing has been lost. All you need to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, lose a few pounds and get back into the race. You need a job. But how do you start looking for a job? That's beyond the scope of this article. But once you find a prospect, you'll need a good way to present yourself. And you need to make your potential employer disregard that woman crying about being a "single mother." But how? How do you separate yourself from the pack? If you said "terrorism," get ready for an exciting trip to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba! If you said "billboards", you don't need our help. BUT, if you said "I don't know," stick around, because we're going to show you how to write a cover letter. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/HowTo:Write_A_Cover_Letter From elvis at elves.name Sat Sep 16 09:14:40 2006 From: elvis at elves.name (Stephen Elves) Date: Sat Sep 16 09:36:15 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] [[Tucson]] in the press In-Reply-To: <11ff3da00609131148h58bd2747q67c8b27a3f259243@mail.gmail.com> Message-ID: <008c01c6d970$8b627d50$0f00000a@elvisnet.local> Surely the most annoying bit of this is:?HYPERLINK "http://Wikia.com"Wikia.com, which spawned Uncyclopedia.? I still (just) remember when we were not even hosted by Wikia!!! Elvis -----Original Message----- From: uncyclopedia-l-bounces@wikia.com [mailto:uncyclopedia-l-bounces@wikia.com] On Behalf Of nintendorulez Sent: 13 September 2006 19:49 To: uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com Subject: Re: [Uncyclopedia-l] [[Tucson]] in the press "The only limits to Uncyclopedia entries are no porn, no hate and no copyrighted material, said Gil Penchina, chief executive officer of California-based HYPERLINK "http://Wikia.com"Wikia.com, which spawned Uncyclopedia." Err... [[Category:Not safe for work]]? And what article doesn't display a large amount of hate toward the person/place/thing etc in the subject? And we've got plenty of copyright-but-fair-use... On 9/13/06, David Gerard wrote: HYPERLINK "http://www.azstarnet.com/allheadlines/142615"http://www.azstarnet.com/a llheadlines/142615 - d. _______________________________________________ Uncyclopedia-l mailing list HYPERLINK "mailto:Uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com"Uncyclopedia-l@wikia.com HYPERLINK "http://lists.wikia.com/mailman/listinfo/uncyclopedia-l"http://lists.wik ia.com/mailman/listinfo/uncyclopedia-l -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.405 / Virus Database: 268.12.4/449 - Release Date: 15/09/2006 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.405 / Virus Database: 268.12.4/449 - Release Date: 15/09/2006 -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://lists.wikia.com/pipermail/uncyclopedia-l/attachments/20060916/35b48d01/attachment.html From rcmurphy at gmail.com Sun Sep 17 06:11:05 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Sun Sep 17 06:11:08 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- Medical Malpractice -- Message-ID: Medical malpractice is an addition or omission to common medical procedures which enhance accepted standards of medical practice through untested, and experimental medical procedures. While leaving medical instruments within a patient is not as common as it used to be, thankfully it is on the rise again, and people everywhere are taking more stainless steel home with them after surgery. In many sovereign nations, medical malpractice claims are doubling. For the world to be on the cutting edge of medical science, random experimental medical procedures must enhance the body, or leave within it an infectious cutting medical instrument. Precise clinical environments cannot substitute for patent ineptitude. In the Code of Ethics the issue of liability concerning these lawsuits is inversely related to professional negligence. Negligence is the new buzz word in the medical community. It no longer refers to procedures that are done by the book, but rather those that are modified for the surgical situation, with respects to not knowing a damned thing about medicine. Doctors will now be liable for medical excellence. In recent years, doctors have blamed lawsuits for increases in medical malpractice insurance, resulting in calls for subsidies from the Government to help Unprofessionals continue in their malfeasance. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Medical_Malpractice From rcmurphy at gmail.com Tue Sep 19 04:58:35 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Tue Sep 19 04:58:37 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- Suburban homeboy -- Message-ID: The Suburban homeboy on Hangin' 'round the mall: "Yo, yo, yo! Whatchu doin' 'round here? Scopin' out de bitches? We should hit the Orange Julius 'n slip a forty into that cupizle. Get wasted, yo. That'd be tight...jus' gotta find someone to boot some boozizle from dat liquor store down tha strip fo' us. My mama scrapped my fake I.D. When I'm ayt-to-the-teen I'm so gettin' my own pad, yo." On His Ride: "See the Vee Oh El Vee Oh? Dat's how I ride. Damn! Got the phat tip, 'n everything. Fo' incha, no less. Limo tint too. The 'rents are gonna sell it to me. Fo' rizzle! Savin' up the mad scrilla for some big shoes, yo. Wit' spinnaz 'n chrome. Then I'm gonna go front to back 'n side to side. Ah, yeh. It's gonna takes me awhile, mowin' lawns don't pay shit. Tha man's jus' tryin' ta keeps down a nigga, ya knows what I mean?" On Your Ride: "Your whip is a Vee Dub? Damn, yo! Doze wheels are tight! Your ride is all that. Damn. Fast 'n furious, yo. Ah-ite? Holla if you wit' me." On Girls and Tryin' to Get All Up in That: "Damn! Check out the caboose on that ho, yo. Be-yatch runnin' like a freight train. Know what I mean? An' I'm tha conducta, yo. Girl, you got it goin' on! Come get some white chocolate. Drop the hero and get with a zer.." "You betta bounce, bitch. Be'fo I go carayzah an' bus' a cap in your ass." On the Lack of Gettin' All Up in That: "She's frontin'. Girl za dyke. Ah-ite. 'Nuff said, yo." Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Suburban_homeboy From rcmurphy at gmail.com Thu Sep 21 05:38:44 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Thu Sep 21 05:38:46 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- Disneyland -- Message-ID: RGlzbmV5bGFuZCBpcyBhIGNvbmZlZGVyYXRpb24gb2YgZWlnaHQgbmF0aW9ucyBsb2NhdGVkIGlu IHByZXNlbnQgZGF5CnNvdXRoZXJuIENhbGlmb3JuaWEuIEl0IGlzIHRoZSBvbGRlc3QgbWVtYmVy IG9mIHRoZSBNaWNrZXkgTW91c2UKTGVhZ3VlIChpbmZvcm1hbGx5IGtub3duIGFzIHRoZSBNaWNr ZXkgTW91c2UgQ2x1YiBvciB0aGUgRW1waXJlIG9mIHRoZQpNb3VzZSksIGEgdHJhZGluZyBhbGxp YW5jZSBvZiBzdGF0ZXMgYW5kIGNpdGllcyB0aGF0IG1haW50YWlucyBhCmdsb2JhbCBlbnRlcnRh aW5tZW50IG1vbm9wb2x5LgoKRGlzbmV5bGFuZCBjb25zaXN0cyBvZiBlaWdodCBzZXBhcmF0ZSBu YXRpb25zLCBlYWNoIG9mIHdoaWNoIG1haW50YWlucwphIGRpc3RpbmN0IGN1bHR1cmUgYW5kIHNl dCBvZiBjdXN0b21zOiBNYWluIFN0cmVldCwgdGhlIE1hqKpuYXdrCm5hdGlvbjsgQWR2ZW50dXJl bGFuZCwgdGhlIEFkdmVuZWNhIG5hdGlvbjsgRnJvbnRpZXJsYW5kLCB0aGUKRnJvbnRheXVnYSBu YXRpb247IEZhbnRhc3lsYW5kLCB0aGUgRmFuZaiqZGEgbmF0aW9uOyBUb21vcnJvd2xhbmQsIHRo ZQpUb21tb3JvZGFnYSBuYXRpb247IE5ldyBPcmxlYW5zIFNxdWFyZSwgdGhlIE51b2xvcmEgbmF0 aW9uOyBDcml0dGVyCkNvdW50cnksIHRoZSBCZaiiciBuYXRpb247IGFuZCBUb29udG93biwgdGhl IFSosm4gbmF0aW9uLgoKVGhlIG1vc3QgcHJvbWluZW50IGdlb2dyYXBoaWNhbCBmZWF0dXJlcyBh cmUgZm91ciBpc29sYXRlZCBsYXJnZQptb3VudGFpbnM6IEJpZyBUaHVuZGVyIE1vdW50YWluLCBT cGxhc2ggTW91bnRhaW4sIFNwYWNlIE1vdW50YWluLCBhbmQKdGhlIE1hdHRlcmhvcm4uIEZvciB0 aGlzIHJlYXNvbiwgZWFybHkgU3BhbmlzaCBtaXNzaW9uYXJpZXMgdGVybWVkIHRoZQphcmVhIFF1 YXRyb3MgQWx0b3Mgd2hpbGUgQ2hpbmVzZSBpbW1pZ3JhbnRzIGR1cmluZyB0aGUgbmluZXRlZW50 aApjZW50dXJ5IGNhbGxlZCB0aGUgRGlzbmV5bGFuZCBjb25mZWRlcmF0aW9uIHRoZSAiRm91ci1N b3VudGFpbgpLaW5nZG9tIiwgb3IgU6isc2iooW5nqLJvICjLxMm9h/gpLiBPdXRzaWRlIG9mIHRo ZXNlIG1vdW50YWlucywgdGhlIG90aGVyCm1vc3QgcHJvbWluZW50IGZlYXR1cmUgaXMgYSByaXZl ciBsb2NhdGVkIG9uIHRoZSBlZGdlIG9mIEZyb250aWVybGFuZCwKd2hpY2ggc2VydmUgYXMgYSBt YWpvciB0cmFuc3BvcnRhdGlvbiByb3V0ZS4KCkZvciBub3csIERpc25leWxhbmQgbGllcyB3aXRo aW4gQ2FsaWZvcm5pYS4gSG93ZXZlciwgaWYgaXQgZmxvYXRzIG91dAp0byBzZWEgZHVlIHRvIHNl aXNtaWMgYWN0aXZpdHksIGl0IHdpbGwgYmUgdGhlIFNhbiBBbmRyZWFzJyBmYXVsdC4KCgpSZWFk IG1vcmU6IGh0dHA6Ly91bmN5Y2xvcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvRGlzbmV5bGFuZAo= From rcmurphy at gmail.com Sat Sep 23 05:02:52 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Sat Sep 23 05:02:55 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- American Fundie Magazine -- Message-ID: American Fundie Magazine, the magazine for True Christians?, was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist. By "modern" they mean "well before the Enlightenment", or as it says at the top of the Editor's page, "Because God Loved the Dark Ages". The publishers of AFM felt that the views of America's oppressed Christian majority weren't getting out, so the magazine was started just for them. By "just for them" they mean the extreme right edge of American Christian society, the edge that pretends to know the Bible by-heart but chooses to ignore the useless and foolish good bits like forgiveness and humility and instead focus on the "I'm chosen, so "F" y'all" nature of the Old Testament. Simply put, the mission of AFM is to roll the clock back to a simpler time, before the evil secular humanists and their life partners, the Jews, stole the U.S.A. from the righteous and turned it from the high road of the loving goodness of the Old Testament, and onto the low road of liberal Christianity or atheism, leading our great nation straight to Aich Ee Double Hockey sticks. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/American_Fundie_Magazine From rcmurphy at gmail.com Mon Sep 25 05:04:04 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Mon Sep 25 05:04:07 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- Sausage Batty Butter Nugget -- Message-ID: The sausage butty batter nugget is a traditional English food made from bread, twigs, various fatty globules and warmed over animal parts. It is composed of a tubular sheath of meats that has been forced into a large stale bun with a screwdriver or any other handy implement. The resulting hole is then piped full of tomato sauce and (if you're feeling lucky) mustard, in order to get rid of the malodorous and terrifying flavour. The flavor of the batter nugget varies depending on how long ago it was made, the general state of the ingredients and whether or not it is actually covered in dung. In the sixteenth century, dung was considered to be an essential condiment to the snack, but in recent years dung has not just fallen out of cows, it has also fallen out of fashion, in favor of tomato sauce and/or mustard. The flavor of the sausage itself should ideally resemble that of Cornwall on a hot day. Prince Charles, a big fan of batter nuggets, is fond of saying that the hardness and consistency of his sausage is absolutely essential to his enjoyment of the long and happy hours of solitary mastication that he always looks forward to after a hard day's mumbling. And the same goes for his food. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Sausage_Butty_Batter_Nugget From rcmurphy at gmail.com Wed Sep 27 03:56:39 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Wed Sep 27 03:56:42 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- How to kill two birds with one stone -- Message-ID: So you don't know kill two birds with one stone? Don't worry, you are not alone. Well you are, but there's not a lot I can do about that. What I mean to say is that we've all been there, even you. It's only natural and human to want to kill as many birds with as few stones as possible. It's nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you keep it to yourself and tell no one. I bet you were wandering in a field one day, just idly carrying a big stone, like I was yesterday. Then you saw these two birds, just sitting there, waiting to be killed. Of course, you looked around for another stone but the field was stoneless, was it not? You were then forced to use the one stone you had against those birds and so in a mad blind moment of frustration you just hurled that stone, didn't you, only to find that it missed both birds and went straight through the window of a tractor. Then the police got involved and your life was ruined for ever, like mine was - am I right? Well, you should have read this first then. The benefits of killing two birds with one stone are, mostly, that you save on stones. The practice, therefore, ought to be only prized in societies where birds are common and difficult to kill but stones are extremely rare and valuable. Yet it remains a part of common parlance even in our society and we've a massive surplus of frozen chickens and there's stones just laying about all over the place for free! Which just goes to show that the whole science of economics is irrelevant when it comes to killing. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/HowTo:Kill_two_birds_with_one_stone From rcmurphy at gmail.com Sat Sep 30 05:49:41 2006 From: rcmurphy at gmail.com (Ryan Murphy) Date: Sat Sep 30 05:49:44 2006 Subject: [Uncyclopedia-l] New featured article: -- HowTo:Skip School -- Message-ID: Didn't study for the big algebra test? "Lost" your homework? Poverty got you down? Pieces of evidence surrounding the "extra-curricular activities" scandal with your teacher slowly coming into the eye of justice? Never fear! Skipping school is here to save the day! Now, you may ask, what is this alleged, so-called "skipping of school?" How does it affect me? How do I, a simple everyman with not but the clothes on my back and some lint in my pocket, "skip" a "school"? Hey, hey, slow down there, sonny boy! We'll get to that! Just sit back, relax, and try not to do anything stupid. So, for whatever the reason, you've decided to skip school. Congratulations! That was more or less the hardest part. Now that you have this goal in mind, you must not back down. If you back down now, you will be readily mocked by your peers and made a pariah. You will be a pussy. Oh, and that nervous tingle in your stomach is called Peer Pressure. Don't worry! Not only is the feeling temporary, but will help you make some of the best decisions in your life! With time, you will learn to use peer pressure to your advantage as a scapegoat. But until such a time comes, just follow the tingle through the path of Truancy. Read more: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/HowTo:Skip_School